Girlfriend Talk .. do you tell your girlfriends about the good times or just the bad times with your guy?
Do you tell your girlfriends everything? Do you tell them about every fight, every spat, every disagreement with your boyfriend or husband? Do you tell them every time you’re upset at something he’s done or not done (take out the trash … lazy guy)?
Do you just share the bad times or do you share the good times too?
The problem with only sharing the bad times (bitching, venting, complaining) is that you are showing your friend only one side of your guy. The bad side. If she hangs out with you both and knows him for the good times too, that is great, but if she is just a friend you see outside of your guy, she only knows him through your stories.
You need to share the good times too. The times he has hugged you so tight and told you he loves you. The times he compliments you on your outfit or hair. The times he is a great guy and that’s why you love him so much.
Because this is what happens … you share the bad times and your friend gives you the “Why do you put up with that?” “Why don’t you leave him?” “He doesn’t deserve you!”
And, when she says that to you, do you start feeling that you should leave him or do you start telling her the goods outweigh the bad. Because I think that’s what happens all the time. You have so many goods and you just vent about the bad times because that’s human nature. When you have a great meal at a restaurant do you go on Yelp and give it a good review? Probably not as much as you would when you’ve had a bad meal!
When you are in a relationship, you have good days and bad days. It’s important that the good days outweigh the bad days, by a lot in my view, otherwise you are probably not as happy as you could be. But, when you vent about the bad days, and every girlfriend does, remember that you are giving your friend a bad overall impression of your guy. She isn’t seeing the good times, so unless you add some of the good times in with the bad, she will never know the “real deal” with your relationship.
Years ago I had this exact thing happen. I guess I complained to my girlfriend about something my husband did. She said to me “Why do you stay married to him?” I thought, whoa, hang on there … I’m just venting. Many years later she confessed that this had happened to her. She went over to a neighbor’s house and she had a little bitch session about her husband. One day the neighbor asked her “Why do you stay with him?” It had turned right around on her and she now understood that we both were just venting about our husbands, to get it out of our systems and have someone to listen to us. But we didn’t mean to come across that we didn’t love our husbands. We have the good times. We have the bad times. We just choose to vent about the bad ones.
So, remember to bitch, complain, vent about your “guy” to your friend all you want … but add in those good times!
Please leave a comment about your experience with this topic!!
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